an awakening

Saturday... day 5 of blogging... still accountable to the countdown of launching our website and my 13 mile run is tomorrow! AND...
Today I attended a funeral for my sister's friend's husband - close enough to be reflective yet not close enough to feel the pain of loss. He was a young 50 something and died of acute leukemia in basically 3 weeks. Had flu like symptoms, tired achy for 3 weeks, finally went to the doctor on January 18Th and walked himself over to the hospital for blood work...died on January 21st - wow... He left behind his family and friends and his one 15 year old son. The service was wonderful, my dear friend was the priest and he did a wonderful job, and the cantor was beautiful. We were all in the moment, grateful for the life of a dear friend and praying for a warm welcome in heaven. I looked over at the 15 year old son and saw a tall, handsome boy... surrounded by an entire pew of friends all dressed in suites and supporting their friend's loss of a dad. The son was so strong and accepted all of the condolences gracefully. Then at the end of mass, as everyone was trickling out the doors, the church grew empty and there on the alter remained his dad's ashes. His mom was talking to a few last people and I began to walk my mom out to the car - I went out the wrong door and we had to turn around and walk through the church again and go out the other door. The little detour had both my mom and I noticing that God must have wanted us to pass by the ashes one last time. As we did, we prayed and I turned to leave and there in the pew was the Son, this time the 15 year old boy was not standing tall and strong, but rather curled up in the fetal position and just lying there in the pew alone...alone with his dad...for one last time. Maybe that wasn't the proper thing to do or the socially correct way to be, however it was real, it was authentic and it was exactly what he wanted to do. Curl up in the quite and be... Peaceful yet sad...he was taking a moment. I feel so blessed to have witnessed this moment - how often do we want to take a moment to feel, yet we rush off to do what we think we should do??? May God bless this young boy as he continues to feel the pain of loss may he also feel the love and hope of eternal life. Personally I ask God for the courage to look deep into my soul and allow my emotions to flow through me. Goodnight for now...